planet telex

Tim Schmoyer’s recently attempted to give his advice to a question from Chris Day regarding whether or not one should allow un-saved adults to lead youth ministry activities or not.  Chris says that he wouldn’t let them take on a role of teaching or education, however may allow them to take on other roles of leadership.  Tim’s response was pretty much in the negative, he suggested that he would not use non-believers/unsaved adults in leadership roles at all.

Tim’s reasons basically revolved around not trusting un-saved adults as role models or mentors, not trusting un-saved adults to not say or do anything that may be unwise and that youth ministry is youth evangelism, and thus not a place for evangelism to adults.

I’d like to throw my 10 cents in, because I’ve been thinking over the last few days that many of our youth ministries may actually desperately need us to take on people who may not name themselves as Christian in leadership roles, and that in some cases it’s an imperative to do so…

Before I do start however, let’s get this straight, I don’t like the distinction between saved and unsaved, I dislike it as much as I do believer and non-believer and Christian and un-Christian, so I’m not going to use these terms.  My dislike for the terms is the presumption that we know who is saved and who is not, the presumption of what a Christian really is and the presumption that the non-believer/believer either do not believe anything, or that they believe the right things, and that I know what is “right.”

The reality is that only God can make the call of who is saved, who’s beliefs are right and wrong and who has understood the message of Jesus correctly.  The judgment call is not mine to make, nor should it be, for all I know, God’s Grace might be so big that it embraces everyone in God’s arms, that everyone’s “saved.”

So moving on…

Youth ministry has, for many years taken on an extra-parental role that, if I may be quite frank it should never have taken on.  YM has, for better and worse consistently removed the faith development of the child from the family and has taken on that role.  YM has taken young people on camps, conferences, evening activities, bible studies, training events, worship services, baptism and confirmation courses as we’ve understood that as our role, and most of which has been done separate from the family.  Parents have in many cases been overlooked as leaders, advisers, spiritual guides or mentors in favour of younger leaders who have graduated from our youth ministries, or others who do not have any family ties to the young people we’re working with.  Sure, we seem to have no issues with parents being on the fundraising team, and having them on our support group sometimes is a pain but we’re ok with that, but connecting them with the youth ministry in any other way has been out of the question for many ministries and many years. We’ve removed the role of spiritual education, exploration and discussion from the family table and taken it on ourselves, and what’s more we’ve failed to hand it back thinking that we can do a better job at it, but unfortunately as the stats show us in many cases we’ve failed at that as well.

I would argue that we’ve failed in many of our youth ministries to convey a faith that is lived out at home and schools as it is in our youth ministries, and that failure has had a lot to do with our tendency to remove parents from the discipling and mentoring process, from our ministries…

So, what would it mean to create a youth ministry that is not (only) concerned with the faith development of the young people but also of the parents, whether they be people who have a faith in Jesus Christ and God that meets with the expectations of the church leadership or not?  What if our ministry is about transforming the lives of the young people that we minister with, and to understand that to also mean to minister with their households at the same time, with the parents as well as the kids?  What would it mean to take on parents who are passionate about the work of the church and your youth ministry involved in your leadership even though their faith understanding does not meet your expectations?

Old children’s and youth ministry patterns used to follow the idea that young people need to be converted (believe) in order to act out the faith (behave) and then be a part of the community (belong).  Yet, for the last ten years we’ve been exploring the idea that young people belong to a community before acting out the life of the community and then believing the faith of the community, a reversal of the old pattern.  Young people will go out and clean up graffiti, feed the poor, work for justice, run youth activities and many will do it well before they make a faith statement. Why then would we expect different from the parents of the young people with which we minister? (especially as many of these parents would have been youth in the same period when our theories changed) And, while we’re open to young people (with or without a faith in Jesus Christ) teaching us about the grace and revelation of God why aren’t we as open to the idea that parents can do the same?

Moving on… Who did Jesus call to walk with him on his ministry?  Fishermen, prostitutes, taxmen, women… people who, didn’t fit the social standards of the time, at the time did not believe, or understand who Jesus was, yet over time began to understand the importance of this man who they followed. But his process for discipleship was call – community (belong) - experience (behave) – believe, and I wonder if we need to not only accept that as the case with our young people as well as the adults connecting with us.

Tim says that “unsaved” adults are more likely to say or do or say something unwise to the young people in his ministry, once again I think this is a large generalisation, I know many Christian adults who are more likely to put their foot in their mouth than others who do not call themselves Christian. I think that one of the things at stake here is the need for what many ministries call leaders that are “beyond reproach,” a concept that I’ve already shared issues with, once again referring to those who Jesus called to be his followers and asking if they were beyond reproach or not at the time of being called.

I’d like to ask what kind of role model we’re presenting if we say to people that they cannot be a part of God’s work unless they believe what we do.  What kind of faith and tolerance are we encouraging in our young people if we decline people from being involved because of their own faith?  Sure, there’s the need for us to make sure that those who are in leadership are not likely to be dangerous, so police checks and such are necessary, but to say no to someone who would be good because they don’t have our faith (yet) seems a bit out of line with how Jesus seemed to minister and call his followers.

My thoughts are that every leader in my ministry needs to understand where we’re going and how we’re planning on getting there.  Most leaders would need to go through a training or briefing event as well so that they know how things operate, the need to be serious about how we care for those in our care, the need to be aware of sexual harassment and abuse issues and of how to handle certain circumstances that might occur (say if a young person discloses abuse, or discloses grief issues).  Yet I wouldn’t say no to someone who has gifts (note: gifts of non-Christians are still God-given) of working with young people because we differ in belief/faith.  And, in a way that’s one of the key points, that all gifts, those of people who call themselves Christian and those who don’t are given by God and so can be used in the service of God, for me to disallow those gifts from blossoming and being used to forward the Kingdom here on earth is a big call.

I was also thinking that I’ve been in a number of churches and youth ministries where the leaders named themselves as Christian yet didn’t seem live out that life on a day to day basis, we’d talk about hospitality and they’d not offer it, we’d talk about forgiveness but they’d hold grudges, we’d talk about reconciliation and they’d tell racist jokes…  These leaders might have been good role models as in they stopped and listened when someone was talking at youth activities, they could recite a few verses, they wouldn’t swear etc, but were they providing the kind of role models that inspire people to life differently.  I then put these leaders alongside a person who would sacrifice their time and money and gifts into the youth ministry without actually owning all my beliefs and wonder if that’s a role model that I’d like to have in my community.  If we had adults who were still on a journey of faith, much like the young people we minister with who are able to take the time out to participate in the ministry and work of God what are we practicing? If I’d have someone who’s willing to get involved and participate purely because of their love for the young people and because they see that our ministry is doing something good in the community as a leader and what that would send to the young people?

Ministering with young people who are from houses with parents with, or without connections to the church is hard at the best of times, we’d explore issues around hospitality, love, forgiveness, prayer, friendship and they’d go home and not be on the same page as their parents.  If I had parents who would like to participate in the ministry, be in the discussions and prayers and worship, yet not have the same beliefs as me I think it’s be a blessing that both parents and children could continue conversations post-activities, perhaps putting the role of spiritual education back into the household…

I don’t want to be heard saying that I’d allow anyone into leadership roles within ministries, there would be times when people’s gifts and skills do not match with the ministry, or there will be times when there will be some major character issues or even legal ones that would mean that the person would be unable to take on the roles, but I would say that deciding not to allow someone to serve God solely because they are “unsaved” is a tough call, and one that I’m not prepared to make…